What do we mean by trauma-informed LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapy?

“LGBTQ+ affirmative psychotherapy” addresses all the parts of an individual that have felt “othered”, shamed, judged, not “good enough”, bad or wrong growing up and living in a cisgender and heteronormative society.

“Trauma informed” means the therapist has not only been trained to work within the model of affirmative psychotherapy, but also has been trained to work with people who have experienced differing degrees of trauma throughout their lives and/or currently. We believe it’s crucial an LGBTQ+ affirmative therapist is also trauma-informed and trauma-sensitive. 

Many of us have felt we are not a part of the norms or expectations of our cultures, families of origins and society as a whole. Peer / social / familial pressures and expectations often have a tremendous impact on how the LGBTQ+ individual views themselves as well as their place in the world.

The affirmative approach empowers LGBTQ+ folx to understand how dominant structures have contributed to their pain, shame, beliefs about self and safety (or lack thereof) in relationships with others and within the world as a whole. Together we look at the ways that dominant norms, and constructs deemed “normal”— ie: whiteness, heterosexuality, cisgender identities, ability, body size, neurotypicality, capitalism, etc. — create expectations that are oftentimes misaligned with a person’s values and identities, which then creates a sense of “not good enough” for a person who can’t achieve these expectations (hence the cycle of shame!)

The goal is to better understand and make sense of how and why we might experience feelings such as shame, anger, loneliness, self-loathing, hopelessness and confusion (to name a few). It can be illuminating to question the validity of such thoughts or beliefs that “there is something wrong with me” and instead begin to look at how outside contributing factors, such as racism, homophobia, transphobia, classism/poverty, ableism and mental health stigmas might be the “reason” why we are struggling to feel safe and/or to function and thrive.

These are some contributing factors that we might more broadly understand as the problems that exist outside us, which sometimes get internalized as the belief "I am the problem”. When we look at this idea through a trauma-informed, LGBTQ+ affirmative lens we open opportunities for new understanding, self-compassion and hope. 

An affirmative stance in the context of psychotherapy celebrates, appreciates and highlights the beautiful core of who you are and helps us identify what may keep you from being able to do the same within yourself. From this place of ongoing gentle inquiry the hope is that we may safely and more comfortably join with our therapist in collaboration to discover who we are and who we want to be and better understand how our histories, families and culture as a whole may have caused us some confusion along the way. 

In order to do this safely, we need robust amounts of compassion, non-judgment, understanding, affirmation, and deep curiosity from a psychotherapist. Therapy often helps us repair the ruptures in our hearts that were created by parents, peers and society, and can lead to deep healing, self-acceptance and empowerment.